Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I want her autograph on my taint
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
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