Heybabeimwearingurpanties
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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