this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
