Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
