I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
that may or may not have been my penis.
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