I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
