he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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