I swear she didn't look like that last week.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
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