It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
