They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
