of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
