Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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