Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
