I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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