I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
