She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
