Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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