Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
