Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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