3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
