Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
