1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
