drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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