Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Randomize
