Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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