he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize