My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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