how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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