I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
we're making bets on your personal life
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
