If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
