I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
