I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
