She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
