so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
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