is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
