at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
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