worst night to have a conscience
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
