lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
