I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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