Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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