One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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