What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
