And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Randomize