I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
