It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
