he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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