Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
My dad just said "fuck circus"
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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