I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
