guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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