i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I am available for nakedness
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
