Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Randomize
