ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Randomize
