this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
