If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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