Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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