listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
