I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
