the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
