How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
