4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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