I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
