i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
