Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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