wat bout pragnant strippers??
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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