it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Randomize