Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
