Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
