Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
