thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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