If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
