matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
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